Who’s scruffy looking?

My New York Rangers have just swept the Atlanta Thrashers, and through my joy, I realized this quick win has condemned me to looking the ugliest I’ve ever looked, for at least two weeks.

I’m a die-hard Rangers fan, and watching the post-game handshake filled me with a huge sense of pride in this team. But that pride came with knowing I’d be following a very honored playoff tradition—the playoff beard.

There’s just one problem: I can barely grow facial hair.

As a 22-year-old male, you would think I’d be capable of growing some decent facial hair. My facial hair looks more like grass grown by someone who halfheartedly tries to grow a lawn—patchy and disparate, with individual blades spaced out all over the place.

But I decided to suck it up. Last Wednesday, the night before the first game, I shaved off the tiny beginnings of a beard and mustache. I actually never shaved the mustache before, because I knew that it would look awful when it grew back—and I felt the razor burn for two days. I’d been shaving under my chin and the side of the face for a while. This, however, has left a problem: the mustache area is not growing at the same speed of the side and chin.

In fact, it’s barely growing at all. But I don’t care. I’ve never been the best-looking guy in the world, so what’s throwing an incredibly ugly “beard” into the mix?

The kids on the NHL team have it even worse. They’re playing the toughest games of their lives, and they have to put up with teasing from graybeards—and I use that word literally—on the team.

Brendan Shanahan is 38 years old and is rocking the gray goatee. Dan Girardi is still 22 and is barely sporting the scruff. Even that is much more respectable than 22-year-old Ryan Callahan’s baby face.

The kids on the team usually are happy to go through the good-natured ribbing that goes on in the locker room. After all, most of them are happy to even be in the NHL, much less playing in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, the greatest tournament in professional sports.

Hockey players are very superstitious. The playoff-beard was created in the 1980s by the New York Islanders and has been adopted by most players ever since. The tradition consists of shaving right before the playoffs start and then letting it grow until the team is eliminated or wins the Stanley Cup.

As a die-hard Ranger fan, I felt like this might be a longer stay than usual—they were playing fantastic hockey going in to the playoffs. This was in contrast to last year, where the Rangers finished the year poorly and were swept out of the playoffs by the New Jersey Devils. Our star rookie goaltender, Henrik Lundqvist, was hampered by a bad hip and migraines.

This year Lundqvist is playing out of his mind. He’s probably the best goaltender in the playoffs right now. Nearly every Stanley Cup run is driven by the goaltender, and the hottest glove can will even a sub-par team to the finals.

In 2003, goaltender Jean-Sebastien Giguere, a Hartford Whalers first-round draft pick, led the Anaheim Mighty Ducks to the finals and lost in seven games. But his performance was so unbelievable that he won the Conn Smythe trophy as the playoff MVP despite losing, only the fifth player to do so. His playoff beard was immortalized by an appearance on Jay Leno, where he talked about how much both he and his wife hated the beard, but he did it for the team.

If Hank (as his Rangers teammates and fans call Lundqvist) can pull off that kind of performance, he will live on as an immortal god to Ranger fans. However, the Rangers are playing such good hockey they might not just have to rely on their netminder.

With this excellent hockey comes the realization that I might have to grow this beard for two whole months.

I feel sorry for everyone who has to look at me.